This response to a post on a forum about the killing of "Dimebag Darrel", the former lead singer of "Pantera." My poster- friend also has just lost a friend and musician who died Christmas Eve, not from violence but heart failure. The question, as I understood it, was "why is all of this stuff happening" - which is a simplification of what she was asking, but the one that I reacted to:
I have to say that the events of this holiday season have me in a pretty deep "funk", to say the least. I've been reading at andrewsullivan.com (a link from Tom's blog) - there's a collection of links under Tuesday's heading, "TSUNAMIS AND THEODICY" that struggle with this subject from a mostly religious perspective. I think that it is one of the most incomprehensible things that we deal with - this feeling, and the teachings of many - that we are immortal, while the life and consciousness that we call experience is fleeting and fraught with uncertainty and peril. Is is real, or simply a series of beliefs? Today, I don't really know. I just feel alone.
Specifically, our society is not doing well with "the mentally ill" at all these days. The well-meaning opening-up of mental institutions and policies of the 1970's has resulted in several things, not the least of which is a nearly-hidden population of street dwellers, secure in nothing but their freedom to be ignored and uncared for. From what I have read, this individual displayed several characteristics of mental illness, but who then is responsible for reporting it, making sure that he was evaluated? Even then, claiming that Pantera had stolen his music is not cause enough to remove him from circulation . . . and only the police have carte blanche when a civilian even points a gun at them. Shifting gears to a silly example, the behavior in "The King of Comedy" with Robert Deniro and Jerry Lewis - - it is often a very fine line that can separate our aspirations and desires from criminal action.
I'm rambling now.
I'm looking for meaning amidst the chaos, myself. Any clues you could spare would help.
"Ever feel like the world was a blue suit, and you were a pair of brown shoes?"
- George Gobel, appearing on "The Tonight Show"
